Thanatophobia - Overcoming the Fear of Death

Thanatophobia is described as the intense fear of death or the dying process, specifically as it relates to an individual's own experience.  It may be argued - and indeed is by some - that everyone suffers from some type of thanatophobia.    

I recently had this exemplified in person, from a colleague of mine.   

My colleague works in private consulting, and has a successful consulting firm in a city nearby.   We attended an event together out of town, and had an opportunity to sit down for lunch during a break.  During our conversation, our chat leaned slowly toward the direction of human consciousness, afterlife, and of course and most finally, death.   This isn't unusual - anyone who knows me will tell you that my conversations often go this way. And before you say that I'm morbid and gloomy, remember:   you're reading this.  

But I digress.  

At one point during our conversation, my friend asked me how I felt about emerging healthcare trends in the United States, and what I thought the future looked like.   I wasn't sure how to answer, because often my answers to these types of questions are roundly unpopular.  But I know this person enough to know that he probably wanted a genuine answer, so I decided to share.    After I offered my opinion, he nodded and said, "yes, it isn't a good track we're on, is it? Sometimes I feel like the US healthcare system holds our health hostage, and plays off our fears of dying, rather than actually helping us heal."

For many of my readers who may be overseas, you may not be aware:  the US healthcare system is glutted with lenocrats who gobble up profit as fast as possible, at the expense of the patients whose lives are often at stake.   I won't go into that here, though.  I want talk more about my colleague's reflection on thanatophobia and how it might be overcome. 

I agree with his assessment that western healthcare feeds of the thanatophobic senitments of the population.    Death - here in the West - is a taboo to be avoided at all costs, and when we must face it (because inevitably we all will) we must be sure first that we've done absolutely everything possible to first avoid it!  Historical trends in US healthcare show that the fear of dying drives healthcare spending, and by current standards (in terms of expenses) this likely isn't slowing down.   This means that the curve will continue to expand, racheting ever more tightly and winding up to a fever pitch that will eventually lead to some type of change event. 

What I hope for that change event is that thanatophobic responses are replaced by acceptance and maybe even celebration.  Currently, the fear of dying eliminates rational decision making; scarcity is paramount, even when it comes to living!   In the case of thanatophobic response, its the fear of dying (scarcity of life/days) that drives decision making, and overcoming it will hopefully lead us to a future of less stress and anxiety around dying, while also allowing us to celebrate living to the full. 

Overcoming fear, though, is much easier said than done.   It may take many generations for us to completely eradicate the paralyzing fear that we currently experience here in the west when it comes to biomechanical death.  But starting somewhere is important, and I've three proposals that might help. 

First, let's set aside all assumptions about biomechanical death.  Or rather, let's assume that all of our previous assumptions have been - if not wrong - at least incomplete.  Let biomechanical death once again because an enigma to us that is like the night sky, full of mystery and wonder, and even endless possibility.  Can we do this?  Can we set aside all of our preconceived cultural norms associated with this event and let it be what is is: a mystery to be solved?

Second, let's start talking about it more openly.  Especially as we age, let's begin to discuss it as if it were no more significant than taking off our shoes, or changing our socks, perhaps.   Let's start saying things like "when I go" or "when I've left" and do it honestly and transparently, with the knowledge that we're paving roads toward a future that our loved ones will inhabit. 

And finally - and maybe most importantly - let's stop calling it death!  I can't even begin to tell you how much I loathe this word!!  I recognize that its function describes a specific subset of events and processes that occur in biology.   But it has come to be laden with such horror and fear that I want to throw it out. I want us to stop calling it death at all - I want to come up with another word for it.   I haven't decided yet what that should be - there are a lot of options.      But I think a better word might be one that represents change, or modification, or even transition.    

If we can do these small things, we can overcome our fear of death with time, and eventually, we may come to view it as not death at all.  That is my hope.